What are the chances?

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There aren’t many things as scary as putting your child onto a plane to go to a foreign country with people you don’t really know. Devlynn and I had planned for her mission trip this summer for what felt like years. Passports and shots and packing, we had the support of so many people who it was just a seamless adventure getting her up and ready to go. She was the first to raise all her money, I had her passport processed right away and shots were done in June. Even so, all the preparing doesn’t prepare you for what it feels like to let her go and let her go I did.

Walking her into the building, I felt my stomach flipping. Nervous and excited I worried her stomach ache was more than just nerves. I worried she didn’t have enough money or enough clothes; that she’d lose her phone or her wallet or her way. In my head she looks 4 and in my heart I was putting my brand new baby on a plane that was going far away.

They arrived safely and everything seemed great until the news started reporting about a tropical storm. And then, when that tropical storm turned into a hurricane I thought I would vomit right then and there.

What are the chances of a rare hurricane hitting Belize the week my daughter is there?

My faith isn’t the strongest. This isn’t news.  I struggle with the idea that God is silent to many, myself included, when you expect an audible sound. I often forget that God’s people are not God and use their mistakes to punish him and I struggled, profoundly, putting my daughter on a plane with people that I didn’t 100% trust anymore, because of history and because of doubt. So knowing my daughter, my most precious thing was in a storm with all my doubt was the worst case scenario.

It was a long night of checking the news. Smart phones are the devil sometimes. And I knew the storm wouldn’t go directly over where they were. I search Instagram for damage photos and found that the area the team was in was mostly just flooded. And I cried, a lot. Because I was scared. And I wanted to call her but I couldn’t and I knew, I just had to let it go.

Nothing like a hurricane to test your faith.

She was fine. Her team was fine and her Belize story turned into one of clean up and help. I felt glad they were there to help clear the damage. I am sure the people who lived there needed the help. She survived, with the best mission story ever and I survived too. I admit though, I couldn’t get her off that bus fast enough.

And the trip was good. She got to see that despite having less sometimes (or having to wait, yay large family) she really is very rich. And she made friends. Lots of new friends for which I am grateful. She has struggled since her two best friends moved away. But now, it seems as if her dance card is full. And she’s attending youth group again. So maybe, she’ll grow up with a group of people who love her. People beside me and her dad of course.

She and I weathered a pretty important storm and came out richer I’d say. What are the chances of that?

Summer is almost over. What was supposed to be a summer of leisure turned into a whirlwind for sure. I am both sad and happy it’s coming to a close and I am both dreading and looking forward to the start of junior, 7th and 4th grade. Oh and preschool! With a new teacher! One I’ve not met yet but am so excited to add to our education family. I will miss our Miss Joy and Miss Sue though.

 


Hi! I'm Gail, the voice behind Mimicking Motherhood. I started blogging after the birth of my 2nd child as a way to connect with far away family. Things have definitely changed since then. Now, mama to five, this is a place to help connect with other mothers, who feel like me.I love to make and write all while trying to figure out how to be myself in the world of anxiety and depression. Glad you stopped by.

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